A character without description is a stick figure, but a character with just the right amount of description is a realistic photograph. Description brings characters to life and makes readers feel like they actually know them. Can you imagine the main character from your favorite book right now? If you said yes, that’s because the writer used character description to paint an experience for their readers, and the most important way to do this is a balance between “showing” and “telling.”
Showing vs. Telling
So, what is “showing” vs. “telling”? To put it simply, “telling” is a statement of facts to convey information, while “showing” involves sensory details that create an experience. You may have heard people in the writing industry say, “Show, don’t tell!” And while we do want vivid imagery, both “showing” and “telling” have their own purposes. While “showing” zooms in the camera lens on the scene, so to speak, “telling” zooms out a bit in order to deliver information quickly.
When to “Show”
Writers use “showing” to slow down the narrative and linger on an image such as a character description or to convey a character’s personality. Here is an example:
Telling: She had long, brown hair and blue eyes.
Showing: Her brown hair tumbled down her back in loose waves, catching the light and shining like silk. Her blue eyes sparkled like twin sapphires, framed by long, dark lashes.
You might notice that “showing” conveys a more vivid image than merely “telling.” The use of verbs such as “tumbled” and similes such as “like silk” and “like sapphires” are techniques that help paint a portrait for the reader.
Additionally, a writer can also “show” by using actions, body language, and dialogue to reveal a character’s personality.
Telling: Ben was shy and awkward around new people.
Showing: Ben shuffled his feet and tugged at the sleeves of his sweater, avoiding eye contact. “Um, hi,” he said, his voice barely rising above a whisper.
Actions such as shuffling feet and body language such as avoiding eye contact illustrates shyness without the need to state that Ben is a shy person. While “telling” spoon-feeds the reader information, “showing” helps readers infer a character’s personality for themselves. This is a way to immerse readers into the story so that they experience the character’s life as if it were their own—which is the magic of fiction in a nutshell, isn’t it?
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When to “Tell”
In some cases, however, “showing” significantly slows down the pacing, and too many details on unimportant information can overwhelm the reader. Writers use “telling” to convey information quickly in order to keep the pacing moving during events that don’t require details to enhance the plot.
For example:
Showing: Claire sat at the kitchen table, the warm mug of coffee cupped between her hands. She took a small sip, letting the rich, bitter flavor spread across her tongue. She chewed slowly, savoring each bite of toast as the soft crunch echoed in the quiet room. The butter melted, leaving a slight greasy sheen on the edges, and she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Outside the window, the sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft golden light across the room. Claire sighed, her thoughts drifting, but she quickly returned her focus to the plate in front of her, nibbling at the crust of the bread.
Very rarely does a character eating breakfast warrant such a significant amount of detail. Instead it slows down the pacing on a rather mundane activity, and it unnecessarily delays the action that occurs once the character’s day begins.
Now, what would this look like if the writer used “telling” rather than “showing”?
Telling: Claire ate her breakfast quietly, savoring her coffee and toast before heading out for the day.
This method still conveys the fact that Claire ate breakfast, but the camera lens zooms out, glossing over the mundane details so that the focus of the story can shift to more important matters. This quickens the pacing and helps keeps the story moving.
Another instance where “telling” is more appropriate than “showing” is when describing minor characters that are not crucial to the plot or the character’s development.
Showing: The woman standing at the counter had wild, curly hair that framed her face like a halo, and her glasses were slightly askew on her nose. She wore a colorful scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, and she tapped her fingers on the countertop, her nails painted a bright shade of red. She didn’t seem to notice the commotion around her, absorbed in her own world, as she flipped through the pages of a well-worn book.
This level of detail is better suited for the protagonist and supporting characters, not a minor character who only appears in the background during one scene. Not only does the excessive description cause the scene to drag, but it also sends the reader a false flag that this is an important character they need to remember for later. And when the novel ends without another mention of this vivid character the writer spent so many details describing, readers may feel cheated.
Now, let’s see what happens if the writer decides to use “telling.”
Telling: A woman in a colorful scarf and glasses was absorbed in a book at the counter.
This provides the reader with just the right amount of detail to tell the reader of the character’s presence without weighing down the scene with unnecessary description of a character who is not crucial to the plot itself.
RELATED READ: How to Craft Captivating Characters with Character Profiles
Striking the Perfect Balance
Now you know when to “show” and when to “tell.” In the end, it’s all about balance. Here is an example of a description that effectively integrates both “showing” and “telling” to strike the perfect balance:
Anna stepped into the café, her heart pounding in her chest. The familiar scent of coffee beans filled the air, but it didn’t calm her like it usually did. She took a deep breath, wiping her moist palms on her jeans.
The café was nearly empty, except for a dark-haired couple laughing in the corner, and a young man with brown curls wearing Windsor glasses who sat by the window—Luke. He leaned over his laptop, headphones in, unaware of her arrival. His fingers tapped rhythmically on the keys, the soft clicking sound filling the air.
Anna trudged toward him, her hands trembling. “Hi, Luke,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Luke looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. “Anna. Hello.” He fussed with his glasses and sat up straighter, running a hand through his messy curls. “What are you doing here?”
Anna took a deep breath. This is what she had been dreading all week. It was time to finally face it. “We need to talk.”
In this passage, “heart pounding in her chest,” “She took a deep breath,” and “wiping her moist palms on her jeans” illustrates that Anna is anxious. And then, when Luke “fussed with his glasses,” “sat up straighter,” and “ran a hand through his curls,” it is evident that he is also anxious to see her. While Luke is described in detail, the dark-haired couple laughing in the corner are briefly described through the use of “telling.” In addition, the sentence “This is what she had been dreading all week” quickly informs readers the emotions Anna has been feeling during the week leading up to her confrontation with Luke, whereas “showing” this would have significantly slowed down the pacing.
Once you master the balance between “showing” and “telling” using these techniques, you are sure to create character descriptions that are balanced, vivid, and effective.
